While Audrey is enjoying the world of big kid status, your little Lily has headed back to school. A semester full of cheery bullshit should ensue… I’m taking some abnormally ridiculous classes, including (but not limited to) Jewish-American Literature, Box Office Practicum and (drumroll, please…) Math for Teachers.

The biggest pile of bullshit there is. This is because I can’t do math to save my life.

Literally.

Unless it’s percentages (I have been waiting tables a long time, and shopping for even longer), I’m fucked. And, they’re making me tutor little kids. It’s a hilarious joke that will end up in the demise of these children’s mathmatics careers. I hope to god they give me right-brained kids. You know the ones: reading big books that should be beyond their comprehension (I got made fun of for reading Lolita… at 8.), usually they’re a little too skinny, and they are really quiet… until they get on a topic they like, then you can’t shut them up.

That was so me as a pre-adolescent. I was a bucket of annoying. And those kids have little to no hope when it comes to math anyways, so there’s really not much for me to fuck up. I can just go with the flow that is a shitty understanding of math… and all will, once again, be good with the world.

So, say your prayers for me (and, especially for the little ones), kids. Your little Lily is back, destroying lives one math equation at a time.

I’ll keep you updated.