I hate to say it kids, but “good” Audrey is done.

I am so sick of boys right now with their back-back-forth-and-forth-ness. It’s pretty ridiculous. Goggles especially–he’s totally not goodlooking enough to play this game. First, he’s all about me. Then he’s not about me. But, oh wait, he’s all about it bout it when his friend, who from this day forth shall be known as, Wolverine, or any other random guy is all over my nuts.

That’s how he was on Halloween. That is why he kissed me. That is why he texts me every five seconds when he knows that I am with Wolverine or if he is the vicinity.

Is he trying to prove something? He knows that I like him–nay, liked him, but I’m so over his psuedo-Jedi mind tricks. Why is it so difficult for him to show me that he likes me or blow me off if he doesn’t? I am not in love with him so I would not care. I have the bounce back rate of a 2-year-old. Just flash something shiny in my direction and I will be distracted. I am not going to cry about it. There are so many other guys that will wait, oh, less than THREE MONTHS to kiss me. In fact, there are guys who will try to make out after 8 seconds of knowing me!

Also, there are guys who won’t lie about hanging out with his brother just to go have a guys’ night. Yeah, that is what Goggles did. He invited me to watch Da Bears’ game the other day and then uninvited me because his brother was coming over. Then Mark texted me to tell me to come to watch the game at Goggle’s house unbeknownst to him that I was uninvited since his brother was there. What? Who does that?

We all know that I really really really liked Goggles. There is no denying that. I stopped smoking around him. I stopped going to straight bars. I stopped randomly making out with random people. I turned down sex many a time. I did all of this because I thought somehow this would prove to him how much I liked him when I really did not have to prove anything to him at all.

So I am done pretending to be this goody-two shoes for no apparent reason. He only likes me when he feels it is convenient for him. For the most part, that is when someone else is stepping on to “his” territory. And for the record, I am for no man to claim. Thank you very much.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: Audrey is back. None of this pretending to be nice nonsense. No more of this “I like Goggles soo much” bull crap! I am going back to my evil ways and you can’t stop me. I’m going to stop being boring now and go on all the random misadventures that make my life as carefree as possible. Holla! Jammin’ on the one.

Disclaimer: This is a drunken rant. If it doesn’t make sense, it is because I am slightly enibriated.